


moirails will be moirails

by s34dw3ll3r



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 05:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/606313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s34dw3ll3r/pseuds/s34dw3ll3r
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>condy and ghb get together and gossip about romance while doing makeovers</p>
            </blockquote>





	moirails will be moirails

she was getting so aggravated that she was yanking his hair  
“UGH that awful B-EAC)(! what the fuck does he sea in that rachet hag? i mean i aint interested in nofin black with him but come on, mindfang? that trick probably aint been near a shower in sweeps. does she even minnow what a comb is? cuz she needs to work on that crabs nest”  
“the one under her hat or her skirt”  
her hands left the braid she was working on and flew to her mouth in an attempt to muffle the laughter  
“oh cod that was a good one hon. but seariously, have you ever seen the bitch? she looks like somefin the sharks dragged in”  
“you know that if i saw her i woulda clubbed her ass into the ground”   
the grand highblood may be a homicidal maniac clown, but he had his sweet moments. thats one of the many reasons condy loved him so much.  
“its just fuckin astoundin that he ACS)(-ELLY has any concuptious eelins for her. pike is he reely into that whole “i didnt even try and i enjoy lookin like a drug addict” look”   
she may have been kneeling behind him, but she could practically see the smirk on her moirail’s face  
“if that was the case he woulda been after that motherfuckin kitty bitch a while ago”  
“oh COD dont get me started on her. did you minnow that that wild beach had the nerve to strike one of my soldiers? i knew she was crazy an all but damn thats just a death wish”  
“i bet he fucked her up good”   
“oh you minnow he did. too bad that dirt scrapin mutant wasnt there with her”  
“well color me motherfuckin surprised. shes almost always following that worm around like a bark beast lookin for a bone. but as they say, filth lies with filth.”  
“speakin a filth, hows your peanutbutter buoyfrond a yours?  
“oh god you dont even wanna know”  
“oh clam up yes i do. is the vacillation that bad”  
“who the fuck told you about that shit”  
“aint nobody gotta tell me nofin, a girl can tell what goes on with her morayeel”   
he grunted and put his head in his hands, pulling the comb from the condesce’s grip   
“i just hate that stubborn, loud, cocky, mudblood worm so motherfuckin much i cant barely stop myself from smashing his motherfuckin skull against a wall and making a necklace outta his bones. but then hes just so ballsy its astounding and then i gotta admire him for actually tryin to put up a fight against me. its cute and then i start feelin pitiful towards the sorry son of a bitch”  
“my advice? just stay black with him. methinks he wouldnt reely be into a redrom”  
“you sure? i can be pretty romantic when i want”  
she fell backwards laughing and when stood up, doing his best impression of Dualscar.   
“care for a dance your highness? oh youre such a superior ruler im gonna kill some rustbloods in your honor. would you like this ugly ass necklace i found when raiding a ship? oh did i tell you im also a great soldier? do you pity me yet? huh huh why dont we go back to my ship and just pail our motherfuckin brains out”  
“O)( COD STOP YOURE KRILLIN ME”   
she was practically in tears by the time he sat back down in front of her  
“but do you really remember that fuckin necklace he got you on your wriggling day? i swear he just found that shit on the sea floor”  
she straightened up and got back to his hair  
“oh stop it was cute”  
he snorted and turned his head to look at her “are you wearing that shit now”  
“oh clam up you basshole i reely liked it!”  
“girl youre just too flushed for this sorry loser”  
“whatebber”  
“alright fine aint nothin wrong with having bad taste in men”  
“you minnow its funny that my morayeel of all trolls would say that”  
“i guess im just the exception to that little quirk. but speakin of your bad taste, whats the story with you and that pissblood?”  
“fucked if i minnow. he fuckin anchors me”  
“anchors?”  
“abhors”  
“you were really fishing for that one”  
“yeah youre right it was outraygeous”  
“enough with the puns get back to the story”  
“alright, so this guy fuckin detests me cuz im anglin to kill him and all his lil homies right. but he aint returnin any of my black advances pike i just dont get it. how are ya gonna spit at my heels tellin me im the bane a your existence then turn away when i try to touch you”  
“how can you turn away your bulge”  
“w-… oh youre fuckin sick ya know that. i aint trynna fuck ‘im yet im just trynna start the fire or some romantic shit”  
“maybe he just really hates you in a platonic way”  
“how the shell should i minnow what kinda signals to look for? i aint never had a reel kismetfish before”  
“so what was the handmaid”  
“well she… shit that wasnt a thing she was just… kinda there. and then i krilled her”  
“you knew she was hot”  
“no”  
“you wanted the d dont lie”  
“oh fuck you and your stupid smudgy makeup”  
“speaking of my perfectly applied makeup, when you gonna let me do yours”  
“we could do it now”  
“youre done?”  
“go look in the mirror”  
he got up and walked into the ablution block

“bitch sup with bows”  
she giggled  
“is this fucking glitter?”

 

she got up and joined him ablution block, ready for his payback in the form of face paint.


End file.
